from the REAL ME to the REAL world

Maate I have always thought you are very talented . More than that I have respected you for what you have always stood up for . You might have gone wrong at several instances slipped ...... dumped got dumped got stabbed but you had the grace to carry yourself out of each and every sticky , heart breaking embarrassing situation with such dignity .
I have often complimented you about every small thing not cause I fan you or something like that I have always admired your will .... the will to survive through all the rubbish that might have happened .....your will your character and your dignity is far beyond any other girl I HAVE SEEN .

I have a checkered past.
I have made many follies found foes in friends backed away shattered heart broken and in total dis belief I have chosen to believe knaves as helping hands truth as tales .
I chose to be oblivious only because the goodness in me will die with the badness outside .

I am totally and completely in love with that phrase
see the good in others, take what is good and leave whats bad .

Yes its a bane to be born this way and I can't kill myself cause of the big bad world .
My parents and my friends love the way I am just as I am .....
no false pretences no bitching and no questions ......
I am that naive wanna be mature wanna be hard to get but yet totally senti mental !
I cannot and will not forget the good that has been done to me by a few .... and I will
forgive the bad that has been by those few.....
I am a complicated mass fibre with emotions that bind and gag ,
with principles that quiver with storm but will never be uprooted .

I care about every living thing and sometimes non living too .....
I am like that .... what can I do ..... ?

Ppl have taken my silence as my patience my madness as my weakness .....
Each and every thing I've said and done has been dissected bisected stripped open and analysed all for the stupidity that I have bore silently ......
I can't believe anything anymore .... I can't be that care free KRACK child that I love being.
I can't accept that ppl have taken me for granted for so damn long .

It disgusts me that I am like this but this is what I am
this is what I have always believed in .......... and this is what I might always be like.

I am in a mode where i can't allow ppl to do this to me cause
Its taken me 7 months to get over Dumbo's coldness
3 yrs to get over that disastrous relationship and
6 years to come to terms that I am human and I have made errors .
Such small ones that I don't remember them but its repercussions are what even till date ppl hold that against me .
It has been so difficult to fight all those battles meet all those criticisms as if they didn't affect me .
It has been difficult to put that smile and walk out of the house believing that
I AM THE BEST BUT KNOWING SO WELL EVERYONE ELSE WOULD LAUGH AT THAT SAME IDEA .
It has been most difficult that time and again its those people that have let me down . At every junction at every cross road at every fall and rise !
I am finally free liberated from my own beliefs freed from the shackles of false friendships and ugly pretences !
I HAVE FINALLY COME OF AGE AND I WILL SURVIVE JUST AS I HAVE ......
With or without people !

In my infinite wisdom I re read IF by Rudyard Kipling
*takes a bow and twirls the imaginary skirt around !*