This morning the ride to office was so pleasant
Grey skies , befitting breeze
The birds chirping and vehicular honking were music to the ears
With a song on my lips I was nodding my head sideways and riding along the lanes
It wasn’t just the weather there’s a latent zest in the morning!
As I look outside my office window
I watch the pigeons playfully nibble at each other
Notice the flowers abloom in yellow and orange hue
Feel the gleeful tilting tree breeze whisper sweet nothings into my ears
It’s not just the sighting there’s a latent yearning in the morning!
As I close my eyes my thoughts go back and forth
To the smiles giggles , snuggles and cuddles
Silence of the chaos, moments of calm
Ravenous, passionate, frenzied, rushed and slow at the same time
It’s not just the memory there’s something about the thrill of what lies ahead of this morning!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
From me to You
To think that the beguiled and hopeless
foray aimlessly believing that never again they'd
trust and give in to the matters of the heart !
Never would they recover to believe in beautiful sunsets
Never will they want to get drunk and act mad
Never will they love so deeply for they have been scared and their wounds afresh.
In you came into my reverie breaking all the resolve to never
Making me believe in the promise of romance
Coercing me to trust again
To Laugh and smile feel and believe
To live it up !
For your persistence I wanted to believe in red roses and love songs
For candle lit wine and dine
For your love I wanted to love back in return
For your belief I give in to believe in it again !
Half a decade of friendship a promise of togetherness
The thought that I'd never be able to pick up the phone and say you know what ...
The feeling of being out alone in the cold an not having anyone to crib to
The possibility of ageing and not having you to talk to
Is enough for me to throw away all my inhibitions and follow you
to a land of promise and happiness
I'm saying I'm ready to feel love again .
I'm ready to look at the stars and believe they shine for me
To believe in the eternal sunset of your spotless mind :)
foray aimlessly believing that never again they'd
trust and give in to the matters of the heart !
Never would they recover to believe in beautiful sunsets
Never will they want to get drunk and act mad
Never will they love so deeply for they have been scared and their wounds afresh.
In you came into my reverie breaking all the resolve to never
Making me believe in the promise of romance
Coercing me to trust again
To Laugh and smile feel and believe
To live it up !
For your persistence I wanted to believe in red roses and love songs
For candle lit wine and dine
For your love I wanted to love back in return
For your belief I give in to believe in it again !
Half a decade of friendship a promise of togetherness
The thought that I'd never be able to pick up the phone and say you know what ...
The feeling of being out alone in the cold an not having anyone to crib to
The possibility of ageing and not having you to talk to
Is enough for me to throw away all my inhibitions and follow you
to a land of promise and happiness
I'm saying I'm ready to feel love again .
I'm ready to look at the stars and believe they shine for me
To believe in the eternal sunset of your spotless mind :)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Inebriate
Exhilarated I await for moments to pass,
Lost in thought I lapse out or reverie,
To find I’m but in the same spot transfigured and lost,
I need no direction nor no guidance,
I transverse above and beyond,
Gust and gales shake and break,
Paint, splash and reverberate,
Through them all I shall remain standing tall.
Lost in thought I lapse out or reverie,
To find I’m but in the same spot transfigured and lost,
I need no direction nor no guidance,
I transverse above and beyond,
Gust and gales shake and break,
Paint, splash and reverberate,
Through them all I shall remain standing tall.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
What to make of it
The restless spirit never tires
Time and again coerce to retire
Unyielding it rewinds all those memories
That blind, sting and enclose
a time warp with no begin nor end.
Oscillating between pleasure and pain
I hold on and let go to remain sane
Immersed in delusion chase the stationary
that tempts and beckons entangles and ruins.
Finding way through the labyrinth I'm sucked to the abyss
Dismal in doom I crawl and crouch to light
It flashes across and leads to noiseless interception
Secluded in self affliction a point of deception .
Thoughts navigate through.... saturate and scatter Images play silent havoc
its all in the mind twirl the smoke and regain
{PS: In an attempot to divert from work I cant seem to judge this !}
Time and again coerce to retire
Unyielding it rewinds all those memories
That blind, sting and enclose
a time warp with no begin nor end.
Oscillating between pleasure and pain
I hold on and let go to remain sane
Immersed in delusion chase the stationary
that tempts and beckons entangles and ruins.
Finding way through the labyrinth I'm sucked to the abyss
Dismal in doom I crawl and crouch to light
It flashes across and leads to noiseless interception
Secluded in self affliction a point of deception .
Thoughts navigate through.... saturate and scatter Images play silent havoc
its all in the mind twirl the smoke and regain
{PS: In an attempot to divert from work I cant seem to judge this !}
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Hold on .. Let go
Tis was mother's day on Sunday and I wished my mum gifted her a few flowering plants thought I'd make up for past misbehavior and over the top loafing spree
When I entrusted the plants to her I Said "Amma you have sown the seeds of knowledge , good thoughts and values . Let the plant blossom into a flowering tree, Don't trim it and limit its freedom . You have given it the essentials of sunlight and water let it grow away from your shade"
In all her wisdom and that twinkle in her eye she replied "Chickoo if I let the plant grow without proper care it shall grow hay wire and weeds will get entangled in it.What could be a beautiful flowering tree will look like an ordinary shrub , hence the light in my shade will make it grow stronger" .
I had nothing to say but smiled knowingly that's why they say I'm my mother's girl !
I remember when a few years ago when one of my friend's younger sister happened to be dating someone we both were scandalized and talked about it endlessly and No its not about the guy its about the fact that three yrs back when we were her age we didn't have one !
After talking about it for over an hour we just paused and heard ourselves did we just say "she's too young!" . For someone who's apparently from the same generation we didn't really approve of her young sister's dating just imagine our parents!
No sooner the thought struck our minds we fell silent understanding that mum's in their innate strength just know whats happening in out life and try as we may we cant really fool moms !
When I recollected this incident again I realized that how much we hold on to and how much we let go is independent of the person we are with its more to do about the role we play - Friend,mother,sister,girl friend....
With certain friends I generally coax them to go and explore, fall and learn for themselves. When they ask me for my opinions I ask them to go all out keeping a look out to see if they need my help. With few I'm super protective always warning them time and again, being hawk like and keeping trouble at bay !
In our desire to protect we often alienate. Everyone needs to learn from their follies and failings but more often than not we cant bear to see another repeating the same mistakes that we did hence all the free advice !
Recently my doting family friend who's a good five years younger,who solicits my advice from hairstyles to college admissions, told me that her parents know that she's dating someone and they have already met him !
Quite taken aback I just began to wonder if I'd ever have the guts to do that !
Its a different thing that I haven't really found the person who I could tell my parents about ..but still !
I just heard myself saying "Moni are you guys serious ??"
Now I don't know what did that make me look like but certainly she taught me something that day !
After a satisfactory answer I let the issue drop but I was perturbed should I ask her to hold on to her innocence or must I let her go to explore the world and spread her wings. Its a tough call ! nonetheless Amma's words resonate
You can grow in the light of my shade
PS: Happy Mother's day Amma ! thank god you dont know that I blog ! Would be a great deal of explaining if you read all the posts .
When I entrusted the plants to her I Said "Amma you have sown the seeds of knowledge , good thoughts and values . Let the plant blossom into a flowering tree, Don't trim it and limit its freedom . You have given it the essentials of sunlight and water let it grow away from your shade"
In all her wisdom and that twinkle in her eye she replied "Chickoo if I let the plant grow without proper care it shall grow hay wire and weeds will get entangled in it.What could be a beautiful flowering tree will look like an ordinary shrub , hence the light in my shade will make it grow stronger" .
I had nothing to say but smiled knowingly that's why they say I'm my mother's girl !
I remember when a few years ago when one of my friend's younger sister happened to be dating someone we both were scandalized and talked about it endlessly and No its not about the guy its about the fact that three yrs back when we were her age we didn't have one !
After talking about it for over an hour we just paused and heard ourselves did we just say "she's too young!" . For someone who's apparently from the same generation we didn't really approve of her young sister's dating just imagine our parents!
No sooner the thought struck our minds we fell silent understanding that mum's in their innate strength just know whats happening in out life and try as we may we cant really fool moms !
When I recollected this incident again I realized that how much we hold on to and how much we let go is independent of the person we are with its more to do about the role we play - Friend,mother,sister,girl friend....
With certain friends I generally coax them to go and explore, fall and learn for themselves. When they ask me for my opinions I ask them to go all out keeping a look out to see if they need my help. With few I'm super protective always warning them time and again, being hawk like and keeping trouble at bay !
In our desire to protect we often alienate. Everyone needs to learn from their follies and failings but more often than not we cant bear to see another repeating the same mistakes that we did hence all the free advice !
Recently my doting family friend who's a good five years younger,who solicits my advice from hairstyles to college admissions, told me that her parents know that she's dating someone and they have already met him !
Quite taken aback I just began to wonder if I'd ever have the guts to do that !
Its a different thing that I haven't really found the person who I could tell my parents about ..but still !
I just heard myself saying "Moni are you guys serious ??"
Now I don't know what did that make me look like but certainly she taught me something that day !
After a satisfactory answer I let the issue drop but I was perturbed should I ask her to hold on to her innocence or must I let her go to explore the world and spread her wings. Its a tough call ! nonetheless Amma's words resonate
You can grow in the light of my shade
PS: Happy Mother's day Amma ! thank god you dont know that I blog ! Would be a great deal of explaining if you read all the posts .
Monday, April 26, 2010
Vokay !!! Tis time to update
Well I really was procrastinating this updating UNTIL
I received a mail from my grand uncle who somehow
found my blog stopped by and mailed me to update my blog
Second shock was Ranjith told amudha ( i haven't spoken to either for at least a year!) about my latest blog entry ...
Hmmm and I thought No one reads my blog !
Flattering actually but not this time the previous blog wasn't exactly very pleasant .
Anyways I need to add this disclaimer I generally write quite dramatically most of the posts here may or may not have happened its just the writer's figment of hyper imagination or boredom !
Now that its done !
I'm no longer unemployed but I'm liking this as much cause first salary should be coming in a day or two ;)
Sitting at home for three months I've been really occupied doing a plethora of things. Gender sexuality debates and discussion to some soul searching particular person bashing sessions ! Dance, drama, literature and cooking , travel and writing have all existed contributing differed hues to the past three months !
I felt very alive in these months much more than my extremely adventurous life at MICA .
I felt real I guess I existed as an independent individual unattached to college or hostel, people nor friends , events nor exams, more attached to the 'moment of doing'.
So in the 'moment of doing' I have done some bit of harm actually I quite liked it !
I did go through a breakup. It was a real‘relationship’ we were fooling ourselves & when things started to take a serious turn, like all true self respecting commitment freaks, we started to withdraw ourselves. Like all contracts we had an expiry date as it neared we clung on more and didnt want to let go. Then one fine day We agreed on a mutual ‘breakup’. After several attempts that failed we said we'll be good friends forever * yeah I am 24 and he is 27 yrs old !*
Much ado with all those promises and oaths I will never ever hurt you and look at another etc etc it wasn't all nice.He moved on too fast , too quick with too much fanfare and noise ! I did all the mud slinging at him !
From Weeping to cursing and lots of ego boosting and X bf bashing !
Whew ! I finally feel fine :)
After thought: I was certainly on a different trip this time ! Tis vokay but :) we are allowed to mis behave once in a while shout & scream after all its matters of the heart or so I'd like to believe !
Disclaimer : Misbehavior includes slapping and punching on the streets until the opponent has to flee ! the other men pls think again before trial and certainly zero tolerance for errors !
I received a mail from my grand uncle who somehow
found my blog stopped by and mailed me to update my blog
Second shock was Ranjith told amudha ( i haven't spoken to either for at least a year!) about my latest blog entry ...
Hmmm and I thought No one reads my blog !
Flattering actually but not this time the previous blog wasn't exactly very pleasant .
Anyways I need to add this disclaimer I generally write quite dramatically most of the posts here may or may not have happened its just the writer's figment of hyper imagination or boredom !
Now that its done !
I'm no longer unemployed but I'm liking this as much cause first salary should be coming in a day or two ;)
Sitting at home for three months I've been really occupied doing a plethora of things. Gender sexuality debates and discussion to some soul searching particular person bashing sessions ! Dance, drama, literature and cooking , travel and writing have all existed contributing differed hues to the past three months !
I felt very alive in these months much more than my extremely adventurous life at MICA .
I felt real I guess I existed as an independent individual unattached to college or hostel, people nor friends , events nor exams, more attached to the 'moment of doing'.
So in the 'moment of doing' I have done some bit of harm actually I quite liked it !
I did go through a breakup. It was a real‘relationship’ we were fooling ourselves & when things started to take a serious turn, like all true self respecting commitment freaks, we started to withdraw ourselves. Like all contracts we had an expiry date as it neared we clung on more and didnt want to let go. Then one fine day We agreed on a mutual ‘breakup’. After several attempts that failed we said we'll be good friends forever * yeah I am 24 and he is 27 yrs old !*
Much ado with all those promises and oaths I will never ever hurt you and look at another etc etc it wasn't all nice.He moved on too fast , too quick with too much fanfare and noise ! I did all the mud slinging at him !
From Weeping to cursing and lots of ego boosting and X bf bashing !
Whew ! I finally feel fine :)
After thought: I was certainly on a different trip this time ! Tis vokay but :) we are allowed to mis behave once in a while shout & scream after all its matters of the heart or so I'd like to believe !
Disclaimer : Misbehavior includes slapping and punching on the streets until the opponent has to flee ! the other men pls think again before trial and certainly zero tolerance for errors !
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Uncomfortably numb'ed
Well I know I love writing in retro mood tis shall be yet another such post .
My hiatus from blogging happened due to lack of inspiration I presumed but I guess it happened cause I drowned myself in a happiness that began as our own and ended in misery for my own !
I was lost in a world of love and promise that life is perfect.
Forgetting that me the cynic never believed in such things in the first place.
The past year 2008 October to Dec 2009 was one the best times of my life.
Well obviously I wanted to write and keep a record but it was so action packed and fast and exciting I realised I must just bask in its glory and keep recordings for later !
Hence the Diary lays empty ....
Blog lays desolate........ but the laptop filled with images from all over ....
From Drunken stupor madness to hair raising adventure madness :)
It was amazing !
I am at a loss of words to describe my MICA experience, so many moments to cherish, so many memories to carry, so many lessons learnt
and so much love received and given.
All my writing was limited to love letters and some forcible essays from colleagues for assignments !
But my writing and understanding saw a focal change when I worked on my dissertation I gave it my all for 2 months I ate, drank , slept culture studies gender and sexuality !
In the end it felt good :) It was so satisfying that it shaped up beautifully !
mentor and panel well pleased and I super high about doing it well :)
Through the period of one year I am surprised and actually amused now ....
How did I ?
How did I cease to be Keerthana and adorned a girl friend
hat so easily and for so long ?
How did I loose my self identity ?
How come I hardly got angry with ppl even when they were highly annoying ?
How did I let him take over my life ?
How did I give in to the matters of the heart ?
How did I believe him so blindly ?
How did I follow him so faithfully ?
How could I Love so selflessly ?
The last questions daunts me the most and the answer is not something I want to know right now.
Of all the things on earth how could I give so much ..... give so much that its left me with nothing now ... so much emotions so much commitment so much passion so much dedication ... why haven't I ever seen that side of me earlier ?
I guess as corny as it sounds I was in love .... wonder if its that though !
I'm glad I felt pain ... in a sadistic way I enjoyed it ..
Denying myself of intoxication to forget it ... kept punctuating the pain so that it remains and the memories make me writhe in loathe and finally one day I discard it
to begin a new journey to destinations unexplored.
I guess its working . I am numb now ... to the pain..
to the memories that I cherish they still make me smile in a strange longing way...
I cannot feel my alarming weight loss ... depression... tears...helplessness....
I am numb to all that he says and does...
I and he together are nothing ....
non existent... period.
Its over !
A vague sense of relief ... like a calm after the storm....
a slight headache after too much alcohol I feel like that! as if its happened it has passed and its over yet something is left behind...
a piece of my mind
the peace of my heart .
Innocence lost .... beliefs shaken...ideals questioned and self respect compromised I am in a juncture where everything around me looks hazy and clear at the same time.
I have to move on . I will move on...Will I ever be the same again after that ?
Halo ... halo...
Is there anybody in there
Just thought if you could hear me..
Is there anybody ?
Come on I hear you feeling down I can ease your pain and put you on your feet again.
Relax I need some information first.
Just the basic facts can you show me where it hurts.....
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I cant hear what you say ..........
This is not how I am
I.... have become comfortably numb ! floyd your god!
My hiatus from blogging happened due to lack of inspiration I presumed but I guess it happened cause I drowned myself in a happiness that began as our own and ended in misery for my own !
I was lost in a world of love and promise that life is perfect.
Forgetting that me the cynic never believed in such things in the first place.
The past year 2008 October to Dec 2009 was one the best times of my life.
Well obviously I wanted to write and keep a record but it was so action packed and fast and exciting I realised I must just bask in its glory and keep recordings for later !
Hence the Diary lays empty ....
Blog lays desolate........ but the laptop filled with images from all over ....
From Drunken stupor madness to hair raising adventure madness :)
It was amazing !
I am at a loss of words to describe my MICA experience, so many moments to cherish, so many memories to carry, so many lessons learnt
and so much love received and given.
All my writing was limited to love letters and some forcible essays from colleagues for assignments !
But my writing and understanding saw a focal change when I worked on my dissertation I gave it my all for 2 months I ate, drank , slept culture studies gender and sexuality !
In the end it felt good :) It was so satisfying that it shaped up beautifully !
mentor and panel well pleased and I super high about doing it well :)
Through the period of one year I am surprised and actually amused now ....
How did I ?
How did I cease to be Keerthana and adorned a girl friend
hat so easily and for so long ?
How did I loose my self identity ?
How come I hardly got angry with ppl even when they were highly annoying ?
How did I let him take over my life ?
How did I give in to the matters of the heart ?
How did I believe him so blindly ?
How did I follow him so faithfully ?
How could I Love so selflessly ?
The last questions daunts me the most and the answer is not something I want to know right now.
Of all the things on earth how could I give so much ..... give so much that its left me with nothing now ... so much emotions so much commitment so much passion so much dedication ... why haven't I ever seen that side of me earlier ?
I guess as corny as it sounds I was in love .... wonder if its that though !
I'm glad I felt pain ... in a sadistic way I enjoyed it ..
Denying myself of intoxication to forget it ... kept punctuating the pain so that it remains and the memories make me writhe in loathe and finally one day I discard it
to begin a new journey to destinations unexplored.
I guess its working . I am numb now ... to the pain..
to the memories that I cherish they still make me smile in a strange longing way...
I cannot feel my alarming weight loss ... depression... tears...helplessness....
I am numb to all that he says and does...
I and he together are nothing ....
non existent... period.
Its over !
A vague sense of relief ... like a calm after the storm....
a slight headache after too much alcohol I feel like that! as if its happened it has passed and its over yet something is left behind...
a piece of my mind
the peace of my heart .
Innocence lost .... beliefs shaken...ideals questioned and self respect compromised I am in a juncture where everything around me looks hazy and clear at the same time.
I have to move on . I will move on...Will I ever be the same again after that ?
Halo ... halo...
Is there anybody in there
Just thought if you could hear me..
Is there anybody ?
Come on I hear you feeling down I can ease your pain and put you on your feet again.
Relax I need some information first.
Just the basic facts can you show me where it hurts.....
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I cant hear what you say ..........
This is not how I am
I.... have become comfortably numb ! floyd your god!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Im back...
Well I was obsessing about how to re launch my life
in its wide spectrum of shades .... dance ... career...my dramatic personal life ...
I planned I would take a whole day to ramble about all that's been happening.
Inspirations ..... Idiocracy
Depression desperation
love... pain.... hope.... fear.......
Beguiled and naive I pranced around thinking that certain
things would never happen to me.
Ironically all the never will happen list seems to be quite expansive and most of them are ticked for they have happened.
Ever since New Year I'm caught in a whirlwind of emotions
laughing and crying in the same minute ....
cursing, loathing regretting within that same minute.
Impulsive, brash and stupid have I been to chase a dream that now stops to seem as perfect and rosy tinted as I assumed it to be.
A dream is a your version of reality and Im thinking that certainly is not the version !
The past one and half months have brought out the feminine side
of me that I never knew existed (the tolerance , patience , fighting woman spirit,acceptance , stupidity,loosing control)
It has also brought the completely erratic streak (ya that crazy trip ! an adventure tale) that I feared was dormant ...
I felt the blows of depression ... of irritation and hopelessness but
somehow I just knew that its not going to last...
and I kept telling myself that this too shall pass......
It has passed.
I have survived yet again .
I am sure I will be happy .
I will learn to live and love,
Learn to be mad and wild yet again,
I will learn to trust and believe ,
Learn to forget and forgive !
I am almost there .... almost through the process of mortification (or whatever!)
Cant help but smile when I think of 3 idiots all izz well all izz well!!! lol :)
Sometimes stupidity and silly things seem to be the best
way to deal with blows and falls.
I have to say that it has been yet another
learning lesson in the narrative of my life .
And I'm glad it happened else I would have never known what not being happy felt like .... I would have never felt all these emotions that stir and move ...that make you weep and sigh !
Thanks Babuly for adding a different hue to my life ...
I have been gifted shades anew ...
This has only made me stronger and soon I will happier :)
PS: To all my friends who have helped me through this ... mmmwah loweee you loads :)
in its wide spectrum of shades .... dance ... career...my dramatic personal life ...
I planned I would take a whole day to ramble about all that's been happening.
Inspirations ..... Idiocracy
Depression desperation
love... pain.... hope.... fear.......
Beguiled and naive I pranced around thinking that certain
things would never happen to me.
Ironically all the never will happen list seems to be quite expansive and most of them are ticked for they have happened.
Ever since New Year I'm caught in a whirlwind of emotions
laughing and crying in the same minute ....
cursing, loathing regretting within that same minute.
Impulsive, brash and stupid have I been to chase a dream that now stops to seem as perfect and rosy tinted as I assumed it to be.
A dream is a your version of reality and Im thinking that certainly is not the version !
The past one and half months have brought out the feminine side
of me that I never knew existed (the tolerance , patience , fighting woman spirit,acceptance , stupidity,loosing control)
It has also brought the completely erratic streak (ya that crazy trip ! an adventure tale) that I feared was dormant ...
I felt the blows of depression ... of irritation and hopelessness but
somehow I just knew that its not going to last...
and I kept telling myself that this too shall pass......
It has passed.
I have survived yet again .
I am sure I will be happy .
I will learn to live and love,
Learn to be mad and wild yet again,
I will learn to trust and believe ,
Learn to forget and forgive !
I am almost there .... almost through the process of mortification (or whatever!)
Cant help but smile when I think of 3 idiots all izz well all izz well!!! lol :)
Sometimes stupidity and silly things seem to be the best
way to deal with blows and falls.
I have to say that it has been yet another
learning lesson in the narrative of my life .
And I'm glad it happened else I would have never known what not being happy felt like .... I would have never felt all these emotions that stir and move ...that make you weep and sigh !
Thanks Babuly for adding a different hue to my life ...
I have been gifted shades anew ...
This has only made me stronger and soon I will happier :)
PS: To all my friends who have helped me through this ... mmmwah loweee you loads :)
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Living a life between love and lust , an intricate web of emotions that I have weaved
to make complex designs and intricate patterns.
In the humdrum of monotony I have lost my soul , my voice and my identity
Oscillating between the duties of life and carnal desires I’ve lost the true meaning of what I want .
What I am and Where I am….
Idealistic I wanted to be so much more than what I have been reduced to live.
I wanted to change the world wanted to be a full bodied intellectual making significant contributions to the world that I see.
What I want and crave is for something to die for.......
Some ideology to live for , to fight for some cause and to be so consumed with it that I see nor hear anything else but the echo of that one thing, that I want to live and die for…
no its not love nor a new boyfriend ….
Its something more profound and selfless…..
I just watched hazaron kwahishein….
It’s a beautiful and poignant I can so relate to that nope not the famine and struggle
but the fight and struggle the thirst to believe in something
make a change that you want to see .
I have always been fascinated by such ideologies I feel I’m here to do something like that
join the naxalite struggle ,start a rebellion, form a revolution.
Only thing is I don’t have must to ado much to believe in.
Nothing of my idealism is left after graduation.
All those endless hours of argument of India and her future,
religion and politics those heated arguments of what I think of what I dream……
That line
Hazaaron khwaahishen aisi ke har khwaahish pe dum nikle
A thousand dreams such that to fulfill each of those dreams I almost give my life !
Beautiful .
Will I find that spark that I hunt ?
Will I pay heed to that call ?
Will I find my peace , meaning , desire and destiny ….
Finally will I just live on or truly exist , respire not breathe percieve and not just see. Listen and not just hear,
Will I live the dramatic life that I always wanted .
Why art thou distracted , disturbed spend sleepless nights ?
O when , O when will these thing not elude me …
I want something that will not allow me to sleep , something that will stir emotions high and dreams respite .
I want something that will make me live something that I could die doing and die for !
Hazaaron khwaahishen aisi ke har khwaahish pe dum nikleMonday, April 27, 2009
Summer days !
Its summer !
The time when grasshoppers work in a frenzy flowers bloom aplenty
Holiday vacations are planned and ice creams cream are darned !
Every year we would so yearningly wait for these two months after
final exams and yet when it began we'd get bored already !
My parents would plan which camp I should join this year and
I'd plan which holiday destination I'd like to travel to while day dreaming !
Mango pickles and jack fruits in the afternoon
Ice creams and jelly cooking adventures at home
treasure hunts and dark rooms games in the evening
ghost ghost kitchen set teacher teacher !
Cousins and aunties visiting home
and Old Grandma tales of talking gods and morals
Of Life's and its mystic ways and god who's always watching at bay .
Lots of television but lot more of sand castles and lock and key .
Hide an seek and denner on the back
Oh how I wish our childhood games would come back !
Of climbing trees and scraping knees
Of early morning jogs and swimming laps
Of whistling lanes and cycling through by lanes
Of cream and chocolate and lots of mangoes .
Of screaming afternoons and late evening strolls
Summer reminds me of all this and more !
Poems and stories written to pass time
Planes and boxes made in paper
flower picking and finger licking
All in all a fantastic summer afresh for the new class !
Back to reality : Its 43 degrees in Ahmd exams hovering
boredom seizures and adult treachery
Is this what I've grown up for ????
Summer Days ... are long gone !
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Looking over from the Mangalore coastline
As I look out at the open vast ocean in front of me I felt strangely calm .
All the fire in me mitigated to energy all the tiredness
changed to a rejuvenated mind .
All the past follies were let to rest the intoxication of highest highs
and lowest ebbs ceased to matter .
Tranquillity engulfed me the vitality moved me and the sound of waves
beckoned as if I've been hypnotised .
I felt one with the vast ocean and yet felt so small in front of such a limitless body .
The hues of the Arabian Sea met the shades of the clear skies and almost perfectly complemented each other .
The golden sun glistening away in the horizon .......
the birds fly leaving minute bird foot print trails in the wet sands...........
I close my eyes and I can envision the sea spread out like an infinite continent of blue satin robe the sounds of the magical waters that cascade and rise splash and gush rhythmically .
We sat hours mesmerised by the greatness and the beauty of this body in front of us ,
oblivious to our surroundings .
Voices in the distance rung out ..... sounds of plain life ,
the din and clutter was so far away it felt like paradise
as if we could see and feel but not be stirred .
My life came in images of family, friends, the great success,
love, lust, fleeting happiness, despairing lows.
The questions unanswered. The answers.
The peace that I was in pursuit of didn't elude me it was within me,
within the ocean so big, it was between us .
I felt Calm .
I felt at peace from wandering ghosts , haunting skeletons and lonely shadows.
I was with myself as if I stood the test of waters and felt untouched by the sands of times .
I didn't just hear I could listen .................
I didn't breathe I respired the sounds and smells ...................
I didn't just exist I lived that moment .........
I live it from that moment on replay it and feel the waves wash away my tired feet time and again .
As I listen to its sound with the conch purchased at the shoreline petty shop .
It was blissful .
It think was the trip , the company of great friends and of course Mangalore .
I will let all those Mangis brag about their hometown tis was truly beautiful !
All the fire in me mitigated to energy all the tiredness
changed to a rejuvenated mind .
All the past follies were let to rest the intoxication of highest highs
and lowest ebbs ceased to matter .
Tranquillity engulfed me the vitality moved me and the sound of waves
beckoned as if I've been hypnotised .
I felt one with the vast ocean and yet felt so small in front of such a limitless body .
The hues of the Arabian Sea met the shades of the clear skies and almost perfectly complemented each other .
The golden sun glistening away in the horizon .......
the birds fly leaving minute bird foot print trails in the wet sands...........
I close my eyes and I can envision the sea spread out like an infinite continent of blue satin robe the sounds of the magical waters that cascade and rise splash and gush rhythmically .
We sat hours mesmerised by the greatness and the beauty of this body in front of us ,
oblivious to our surroundings .
Voices in the distance rung out ..... sounds of plain life ,
the din and clutter was so far away it felt like paradise
as if we could see and feel but not be stirred .
My life came in images of family, friends, the great success,
love, lust, fleeting happiness, despairing lows.
The questions unanswered. The answers.
The peace that I was in pursuit of didn't elude me it was within me,
within the ocean so big, it was between us .
I felt Calm .
I felt at peace from wandering ghosts , haunting skeletons and lonely shadows.
I was with myself as if I stood the test of waters and felt untouched by the sands of times .
I didn't just hear I could listen .................
I didn't breathe I respired the sounds and smells ...................
I didn't just exist I lived that moment .........
I live it from that moment on replay it and feel the waves wash away my tired feet time and again .
As I listen to its sound with the conch purchased at the shoreline petty shop .
It was blissful .
It think was the trip , the company of great friends and of course Mangalore .
I will let all those Mangis brag about their hometown tis was truly beautiful !
Friday, April 11, 2008
from the REAL ME to the REAL world
Maate I have always thought you are very talented . More than that I have respected you for what you have always stood up for . You might have gone wrong at several instances slipped ...... dumped got dumped got stabbed but you had the grace to carry yourself out of each and every sticky , heart breaking embarrassing situation with such dignity .
I have often complimented you about every small thing not cause I fan you or something like that I have always admired your will .... the will to survive through all the rubbish that might have happened .....your will your character and your dignity is far beyond any other girl I HAVE SEEN .
I have a checkered past.
I have made many follies found foes in friends backed away shattered heart broken and in total dis belief I have chosen to believe knaves as helping hands truth as tales .
I chose to be oblivious only because the goodness in me will die with the badness outside .
I am totally and completely in love with that phrase
see the good in others, take what is good and leave whats bad .
Yes its a bane to be born this way and I can't kill myself cause of the big bad world .
My parents and my friends love the way I am just as I am .....
no false pretences no bitching and no questions ......
I am that naive wanna be mature wanna be hard to get but yet totally senti mental !
I cannot and will not forget the good that has been done to me by a few .... and I will
forgive the bad that has been by those few.....
I am a complicated mass fibre with emotions that bind and gag ,
with principles that quiver with storm but will never be uprooted .
I care about every living thing and sometimes non living too .....
I am like that .... what can I do ..... ?
Ppl have taken my silence as my patience my madness as my weakness .....
Each and every thing I've said and done has been dissected bisected stripped open and analysed all for the stupidity that I have bore silently ......
I can't believe anything anymore .... I can't be that care free KRACK child that I love being.
I can't accept that ppl have taken me for granted for so damn long .
It disgusts me that I am like this but this is what I am
this is what I have always believed in .......... and this is what I might always be like.
I am in a mode where i can't allow ppl to do this to me cause
Its taken me 7 months to get over Dumbo's coldness
3 yrs to get over that disastrous relationship and
6 years to come to terms that I am human and I have made errors .
Such small ones that I don't remember them but its repercussions are what even till date ppl hold that against me .
It has been so difficult to fight all those battles meet all those criticisms as if they didn't affect me .
It has been difficult to put that smile and walk out of the house believing that
I AM THE BEST BUT KNOWING SO WELL EVERYONE ELSE WOULD LAUGH AT THAT SAME IDEA .
It has been most difficult that time and again its those people that have let me down . At every junction at every cross road at every fall and rise !
I am finally free liberated from my own beliefs freed from the shackles of false friendships and ugly pretences !
I HAVE FINALLY COME OF AGE AND I WILL SURVIVE JUST AS I HAVE ......
With or without people !
In my infinite wisdom I re read IF by Rudyard Kipling
*takes a bow and twirls the imaginary skirt around !*
I have often complimented you about every small thing not cause I fan you or something like that I have always admired your will .... the will to survive through all the rubbish that might have happened .....your will your character and your dignity is far beyond any other girl I HAVE SEEN .
I have a checkered past.
I have made many follies found foes in friends backed away shattered heart broken and in total dis belief I have chosen to believe knaves as helping hands truth as tales .
I chose to be oblivious only because the goodness in me will die with the badness outside .
I am totally and completely in love with that phrase
see the good in others, take what is good and leave whats bad .
Yes its a bane to be born this way and I can't kill myself cause of the big bad world .
My parents and my friends love the way I am just as I am .....
no false pretences no bitching and no questions ......
I am that naive wanna be mature wanna be hard to get but yet totally senti mental !
I cannot and will not forget the good that has been done to me by a few .... and I will
forgive the bad that has been by those few.....
I am a complicated mass fibre with emotions that bind and gag ,
with principles that quiver with storm but will never be uprooted .
I care about every living thing and sometimes non living too .....
I am like that .... what can I do ..... ?
Ppl have taken my silence as my patience my madness as my weakness .....
Each and every thing I've said and done has been dissected bisected stripped open and analysed all for the stupidity that I have bore silently ......
I can't believe anything anymore .... I can't be that care free KRACK child that I love being.
I can't accept that ppl have taken me for granted for so damn long .
It disgusts me that I am like this but this is what I am
this is what I have always believed in .......... and this is what I might always be like.
I am in a mode where i can't allow ppl to do this to me cause
Its taken me 7 months to get over Dumbo's coldness
3 yrs to get over that disastrous relationship and
6 years to come to terms that I am human and I have made errors .
Such small ones that I don't remember them but its repercussions are what even till date ppl hold that against me .
It has been so difficult to fight all those battles meet all those criticisms as if they didn't affect me .
It has been difficult to put that smile and walk out of the house believing that
I AM THE BEST BUT KNOWING SO WELL EVERYONE ELSE WOULD LAUGH AT THAT SAME IDEA .
It has been most difficult that time and again its those people that have let me down . At every junction at every cross road at every fall and rise !
I am finally free liberated from my own beliefs freed from the shackles of false friendships and ugly pretences !
I HAVE FINALLY COME OF AGE AND I WILL SURVIVE JUST AS I HAVE ......
With or without people !
In my infinite wisdom I re read IF by Rudyard Kipling
*takes a bow and twirls the imaginary skirt around !*
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Ironic
Irony Meaning : 'a figure of speech in which the intended meaning is the opposite of that expressed by the words used' - free online dictionary
'In which there is an incongruity or discordance between what a speaker or a writer says and what he or she means, or is generally understood ' - Wikepedia
In other words something that has more if you look beneath the surface that usually is contrary to what has been said ...!
That word always bought images of Iron and Iron like man unable to move a brick (something like the ten headed Ravanna and the bow)
I read that word when I was reading the Figments of imagination a beautiful collection of short stories in class ten .
(which I gave to a young chap to read and appreciate the language better for The Great CAT Exam and he just did better in English than me !)
Life is unfair ! so what of it ?
Its the same for everyone - Flat world they say !
I don't know why I go on ranting when I know that I almost suck at it - Almost ..... !
Whats that one thing that an atheist loathes in a religious argument which he was winning - the fact that all his theories don't have any effect on the god-believer !
I still love him - after he has dumped you and cheated on you a zillion times - it's hope that he will change or you will .
Jab we met - was released after the much talked about duo split - So is Jab We Split an apt sequel .....
He died , he was old - but he was in good health - he was my grand father ...........
they say that death is an equaliser .
It equals all from kings to slaves, from fakirs to fakes ...
all are brought down to dust .... nothingness.... to non-existence
leaving behind things they wouldn't see , hear nor ever know !
Ironic it is that we spend all our life for 'this' to make all 'this' and leave all 'this'
behind to go where we don't know where ?
It's ironic that I still try,
'try' to write I know not why ?
Lol ! me and my silly highs !
'In which there is an incongruity or discordance between what a speaker or a writer says and what he or she means, or is generally understood ' - Wikepedia
In other words something that has more if you look beneath the surface that usually is contrary to what has been said ...!
That word always bought images of Iron and Iron like man unable to move a brick (something like the ten headed Ravanna and the bow)
I read that word when I was reading the Figments of imagination a beautiful collection of short stories in class ten .
(which I gave to a young chap to read and appreciate the language better for The Great CAT Exam and he just did better in English than me !)
Life is unfair ! so what of it ?
Its the same for everyone - Flat world they say !
I don't know why I go on ranting when I know that I almost suck at it - Almost ..... !
Whats that one thing that an atheist loathes in a religious argument which he was winning - the fact that all his theories don't have any effect on the god-believer !
I still love him - after he has dumped you and cheated on you a zillion times - it's hope that he will change or you will .
Jab we met - was released after the much talked about duo split - So is Jab We Split an apt sequel .....
He died , he was old - but he was in good health - he was my grand father ...........
they say that death is an equaliser .
It equals all from kings to slaves, from fakirs to fakes ...
all are brought down to dust .... nothingness.... to non-existence
leaving behind things they wouldn't see , hear nor ever know !
Ironic it is that we spend all our life for 'this' to make all 'this' and leave all 'this'
behind to go where we don't know where ?
It's ironic that I still try,
'try' to write I know not why ?
Lol ! me and my silly highs !
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Unlock Bangalore INITIATIVE
I Just read the article it couldn't be in a better time .
(Yes, I've started reading papers again that job killed my best habits ).
I was travelling this morning from Hebbal side (I used to live in the so called out skirts it has so much traffic now it's scary!) towards Vasanth nagar with my family.
I used the Cab (whilst working for 'THE MNC Investment Bank' ! ) and now I take the fatal two wheeler to work . My dad uses his car and mum the public transport all of us travel different directions and have different working hours but our problem is the same we travel too slow, too far with too much traffic !
The Hebbal fly over does not allow us to move beyond 10km/hr in peak hours invariably what would take 20 min takes one and half hours with all the road widening, one ways and riding through pot-holed crevices !
Today unusually we all travelled together in our car and the discussion led to what this unlock Bangalore initiative would desire - Private participation !
Dad suggested we take march on the almost fatal Bellary road ( after the fly over ) what used to be a haven for birds with its huge Banyan trees,while my mother wanted to write a complaint to the authorities I wanted my voice to be heard !(It's been a while since I crooned at the drives of MCC )
The solutions are simple
1. Get people to know what they can/can't change about these facilities .
2.Educate people about their rights especially the RTI Act .
3.Mobilise youth members in the affected areas please (we're tired of complaining at home and at work about the huge time we spend travelling) we are the generation that will use all these facilities we need to be part of its development !
4.Educate travellers about lane discipline.
5.Please have yellow /white Zebra crossings (what happened to them ? the last I remember of them was when I was in third grade and when we were taught traffic lights lesson!)
Ironically I feel that we will debate discuss and fight but to no avail it's election time the politicians will promise a trip to the moon and back but will not even initiate any roads to and fro !
Hope this Unlock Bangalore removes the cynicism from the Namma Bengalooru's responsible citizens and unclog everyone's mind and of course the roads !
(PS : For a change I have written some thing that makes a difference to most of our lives .You're views/comments are extremely valuable ..... I appreciate ppl commenting on my blog especially if they don't have to say nonsense about my writing style .... ! Lol ! don't comment about ME comment about the issue ! Now this might not bring any comments ...... )
Friday, August 17, 2007
SHE
Eyes with kohl .
Deep black eyes like the night skies , black eyebrows like wisps of the night and hair like the night itself .She smelt like the rain and spoke like the wind .
She wore a graceful smile and walked with diffidence .
When she laughed it was like a gurgling brook and in her eyes I saw my unborn children ........
She walked into my dreams I felt I was in a trance .
I held close against my body caressed her and felt her heart beat .
Was it true ? I cannot believe it ?
Is she there or my figment of imagination ?
Am I beguiled will she be here with me night after night in my solitary bliss ?
She cannot be from this earth ?
A thing so pure and untouched .
A figure of beauty and purity .
Like Madonna , like an angel ,
like Urvasi ........ like Eve !
She was temptation , she was sin , she was lust and she beckoned .........
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
3 A. M.
At 3:00 a.m. in office .
Rain splatters outside .
I can't hear it .Can't smell it .
Feel like I'm caged in a virtual world .
I strain to look out the air conditioned room .
I see lights and more creatures like me doing the night shift !
I close my eyes .I smell fresh coffee beans . I smell the rain .I smell the cologne of the guy I last made out with . I smile .Thank god for small mercies !
My monitor beckons back to reality .
I let it pass .
I shut out voices of deals struck of Brakes failed of escalations made !
I let them too pass .
I close my eyes I feel myself swinging ....
Up in the sky so blue .....
Above the earth and beyond the stars .....
I imagine walking on the galaxy to never land
intoxication's , temptations and happiness..........
I go into a reverie of past triumphs and sweet success of love and lust and times best .....
I feel it hitting me the high of alcohol the blow of depression .......
I am riding the car into mountains and landscapes of green beauty where clouds like cotton wool form specks on skies .....
Where the stream meanders downhill and birds chirp along ....
A land with no return........
All that and more but back to work for now
Felt great to get away !
Will add more at 4:00 am may be ........
Rain splatters outside .
I can't hear it .Can't smell it .
Feel like I'm caged in a virtual world .
I strain to look out the air conditioned room .
I see lights and more creatures like me doing the night shift !
I close my eyes .I smell fresh coffee beans . I smell the rain .I smell the cologne of the guy I last made out with . I smile .Thank god for small mercies !
My monitor beckons back to reality .
I let it pass .
I shut out voices of deals struck of Brakes failed of escalations made !
I let them too pass .
I close my eyes I feel myself swinging ....
Up in the sky so blue .....
Above the earth and beyond the stars .....
I imagine walking on the galaxy to never land
intoxication's , temptations and happiness..........
I go into a reverie of past triumphs and sweet success of love and lust and times best .....
I feel it hitting me the high of alcohol the blow of depression .......
I am riding the car into mountains and landscapes of green beauty where clouds like cotton wool form specks on skies .....
Where the stream meanders downhill and birds chirp along ....
A land with no return........
All that and more but back to work for now
Felt great to get away !
Will add more at 4:00 am may be ........
Friday, July 20, 2007
Sounds
The gurgling Brook ,
The Rustling of leaves ,
The pitter-patter of rain ,
The sound of tinkling anklets ,
The clang of temple domes ,
The whisper of pious chants ,
The uncontrollable laughter leading to a gushing overwhelming pleasure .
The breeze of sunrise ,
The rhythm of cadence of waves .
The deep voices of best kept secrets ,
The hushed tones of rumour mongers ,
The pleading voices of vendors ,
The mirth of children's games .
The noise of mobs , carts and vehicles , of buildings and planes ,
The din of the plain humdrum of life ,
Your voice echoes over all of them ....... !
The Rustling of leaves ,
The pitter-patter of rain ,
The sound of tinkling anklets ,
The clang of temple domes ,
The whisper of pious chants ,
The uncontrollable laughter leading to a gushing overwhelming pleasure .
The breeze of sunrise ,
The rhythm of cadence of waves .
The deep voices of best kept secrets ,
The hushed tones of rumour mongers ,
The pleading voices of vendors ,
The mirth of children's games .
The noise of mobs , carts and vehicles , of buildings and planes ,
The din of the plain humdrum of life ,
Your voice echoes over all of them ....... !
Dearest ,
It's past one a.m. and I'm bored !
Time and again you intercept my thoughts .
The obvious reason is your the password in my office account which I use several times in the day .
In deep Epiphany you flash across my reverie not knowing subconsciously I smile .
All those things about you play in my mind .
Your smile , your voice , your jokes , you poking fun at me ,
the twinkle in your eyes and those hundred dreams I dreamt about you .
I replay the few times we met . The things you said , the things you didn't .
The only time we made physical contact , held hands , you laughed , I was intoxicated !
Why do my thoughts lead me to you ? When I'm sad , Ecstatic , bored or silent .
As your thoughts cross my mind your fragrance lingers on .... The touch .... My dream..... My desperate hope .... your denial ... your acceptance ..... my acceptance .....
our acceptance ......
LOL ! That's what your thinking monkey !!!!!!
It's past one a.m. and I'm bored !
Time and again you intercept my thoughts .
The obvious reason is your the password in my office account which I use several times in the day .
In deep Epiphany you flash across my reverie not knowing subconsciously I smile .
All those things about you play in my mind .
Your smile , your voice , your jokes , you poking fun at me ,
the twinkle in your eyes and those hundred dreams I dreamt about you .
I replay the few times we met . The things you said , the things you didn't .
The only time we made physical contact , held hands , you laughed , I was intoxicated !
Why do my thoughts lead me to you ? When I'm sad , Ecstatic , bored or silent .
As your thoughts cross my mind your fragrance lingers on .... The touch .... My dream..... My desperate hope .... your denial ... your acceptance ..... my acceptance .....
our acceptance ......
LOL ! That's what your thinking monkey !!!!!!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Lalalalalallala....
Well it's just another rainy day......!
no it's not.....it's been a fun day actually a fun week...
anyways the point is I'm in boyant spirits.... and so I'm singing lalalalalalla (those unfamiliar with the tune it's that lifebuoy add song !!)
The week started with Zidane head butting that idiotic Italian...! who would have thought that France would loose like that and Zidane would loose his calm and get a red card !
So a rather dejected me slept for three hours . Rushing to college looking like
Zoombie-just-got-up I was pleased to hear ppl voice the same opinion .....
We we're welcomed with Sr..ummmm reading out the rules loud and clear ...
Yeah ! No short " immodest " tops !
Cell phones baned etc... etc... the rest didn't matter
cause the first two almost was enough to choke us !
After all this speech I .... yes me the Fool went up on stage to ask a question . Guess what I was wearing Yup a "SHORT TOP ! " and the principal Sr ummm said it's too short dear I said sorry mentally making a note never to take of that Sweatshirt until I reach the safe vicinity of my class room ! Now how would one explain that this was medium size at West-side and even if you buy large or XL it will only be broader and not longer ! Alas such complexities cannot be understood by nuns I'm presuming ...!
That was the begining the week we had freshers week which is a week long affair but now reduced to three days from 1 'o'clock to 3 with some two-three participants for the competitions the rest stay in class warming benches and warming hearts of teachers !
So I had the honourable task of calling up a judge and asking her not to come !
yeah ! I said " generally we have lot of girls taking part but since we have 4 ppl I suggest you go back cause it's not fair " yeah it's not fair that I get to do all this ! hmmph !
Well today was different in class I got pulled up for chewing gum ! Yeah I was doing some vigourous mouth excercise so obviously I got caught !
After that we had a poetry special dedicated to our bench mate !
called Neelu " a dog's tale " pun intended .
After laughing at our terrible attempt of rhyming verses I left to judge a dance competition yes you heard right I was A JUDGE . It was a dance competition for special children
called "Rainbow " it was amazing these kids enjoyed themselves sooo much .
I was overwhelmed infact I was very moved . They were soooo adorable .
Innocence , enthusiasm and the warmth there made me feel so special .
I can't help smiling .......
It feels so good that there's so much beauty still left .... these children were amazing I have no words to explain the satisfaction and happiness I saw in every child's eye there . They seemed to be enjoying themselves dancing and clapping...... it was bliss....!
To all those kids who made my day actually my week......! Thanks for making me believe in rainbows again...... !
Lalalalala.... lalalalalalla......( tune of Ace of base's .....)
no it's not.....it's been a fun day actually a fun week...
anyways the point is I'm in boyant spirits.... and so I'm singing lalalalalalla (those unfamiliar with the tune it's that lifebuoy add song !!)
The week started with Zidane head butting that idiotic Italian...! who would have thought that France would loose like that and Zidane would loose his calm and get a red card !
So a rather dejected me slept for three hours . Rushing to college looking like
Zoombie-just-got-up I was pleased to hear ppl voice the same opinion .....
We we're welcomed with Sr..ummmm reading out the rules loud and clear ...
Yeah ! No short " immodest " tops !
Cell phones baned etc... etc... the rest didn't matter
cause the first two almost was enough to choke us !
After all this speech I .... yes me the Fool went up on stage to ask a question . Guess what I was wearing Yup a "SHORT TOP ! " and the principal Sr ummm said it's too short dear I said sorry mentally making a note never to take of that Sweatshirt until I reach the safe vicinity of my class room ! Now how would one explain that this was medium size at West-side and even if you buy large or XL it will only be broader and not longer ! Alas such complexities cannot be understood by nuns I'm presuming ...!
That was the begining the week we had freshers week which is a week long affair but now reduced to three days from 1 'o'clock to 3 with some two-three participants for the competitions the rest stay in class warming benches and warming hearts of teachers !
So I had the honourable task of calling up a judge and asking her not to come !
yeah ! I said " generally we have lot of girls taking part but since we have 4 ppl I suggest you go back cause it's not fair " yeah it's not fair that I get to do all this ! hmmph !
Well today was different in class I got pulled up for chewing gum ! Yeah I was doing some vigourous mouth excercise so obviously I got caught !
After that we had a poetry special dedicated to our bench mate !
called Neelu " a dog's tale " pun intended .
After laughing at our terrible attempt of rhyming verses I left to judge a dance competition yes you heard right I was A JUDGE . It was a dance competition for special children
called "Rainbow " it was amazing these kids enjoyed themselves sooo much .
I was overwhelmed infact I was very moved . They were soooo adorable .
Innocence , enthusiasm and the warmth there made me feel so special .
I can't help smiling .......
It feels so good that there's so much beauty still left .... these children were amazing I have no words to explain the satisfaction and happiness I saw in every child's eye there . They seemed to be enjoying themselves dancing and clapping...... it was bliss....!
To all those kids who made my day actually my week......! Thanks for making me believe in rainbows again...... !
Lalalalala.... lalalalalalla......( tune of Ace of base's .....)
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Nothing seems appropriate to say .
Nothing will mitigate this sense of desolation . Nothing can make me feel better !
I don't know why I'm so bloody upset everyone's gotta move on
and your just going to pursue studies....
Tears swell and drop like a perinial river washing abank memories of all the times spent together . Times of triumph and laughter . Momenets of just sitting together hogging away and just wasting time . Moments of bonding and bitching . Moments spent in great company .
It's ironic those "moments" that made you laugh now bring tears . Tears cause I know in college will never be same without you guys . Who will I play text twist and tetris with ? who will accompany me a zillion times to the canteen ?
With whom will I spend some umpteen hours doing absolutely nothing ?
Do you really have to go ? Why is saying good bye so difficult....?
All those times during Cul - ah ! those bike trips , hogging at sponsors for free , To that midnight trip to Shakalaka 's place . waking you up at 3 AM and asking you for gola ???? . We sure had a blast . With you you I shared a bond and only now I know how special it is .....
Yeah ! I know I sound like some emotional and sentimental fool !!!! but you wouldbe , if you realise that the whole batch is graduated and your left with some two friends and hence have to undertake the task of making friends in the final year !!!!
But I will survive .... don't have a choice do I ?????
Nothing will mitigate this sense of desolation . Nothing can make me feel better !
I don't know why I'm so bloody upset everyone's gotta move on
and your just going to pursue studies....
Tears swell and drop like a perinial river washing abank memories of all the times spent together . Times of triumph and laughter . Momenets of just sitting together hogging away and just wasting time . Moments of bonding and bitching . Moments spent in great company .
It's ironic those "moments" that made you laugh now bring tears . Tears cause I know in college will never be same without you guys . Who will I play text twist and tetris with ? who will accompany me a zillion times to the canteen ?
With whom will I spend some umpteen hours doing absolutely nothing ?
Do you really have to go ? Why is saying good bye so difficult....?
All those times during Cul - ah ! those bike trips , hogging at sponsors for free , To that midnight trip to Shakalaka 's place . waking you up at 3 AM and asking you for gola ???? . We sure had a blast . With you you I shared a bond and only now I know how special it is .....
Yeah ! I know I sound like some emotional and sentimental fool !!!! but you wouldbe , if you realise that the whole batch is graduated and your left with some two friends and hence have to undertake the task of making friends in the final year !!!!
But I will survive .... don't have a choice do I ?????
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
